What I witnessed recently has stuck with me.
A woman with three children spent close to an hour walking around The Lyric at Esther’s in downtown Prattville asking strangers where she could find a women’s shelter.
She looked frantic. Something was clearly wrong.
I tried talking to her. When I asked whether she was in danger or possibly dealing with domestic abuse, she became defensive. I asked two women nearby if they would try talking with her instead. She declined.
So I started trying to figure out where she could actually go.
That is when I realized how unprepared we are when somebody needs help right now.
When I called Prattville Police dispatch, I specifically asked for a female officer.
I even told dispatch that if Prattville did not have one available, I was willing to be transferred to Autauga County dispatch to see if they did.
Three male Prattville officers arrived.
I do not know what specialized domestic-violence training those officers may or may not have. I can only describe what I witnessed.
They talked with her and gave her information for Family Sunshine Center. I did not see anyone call the shelter on her behalf, contact an advocate or arrange immediate shelter placement. My original account likewise described her leaving without an immediate placement being arranged while I was there.
Because the situation apparently involved her husband and three young children, I still believe another option should at least have been considered: the hospital.
An emergency department would have put her somewhere safe and staffed while trained professionals determined whether she or the children needed medical attention and could contact social services or domestic-violence resources.
If sexual assault had been alleged or suspected, medical professionals could determine whether a forensic examination was appropriate.
I am not saying she was assaulted.
I do not know.
That is the entire point: get someone in crisis into the hands of people trained to determine what she needs.
Then Facebook Told Me to Mind My Business
After I posted about what happened, I expected people to ask why a woman with three kids had such difficulty finding help.
Instead, I got this:
“Offer help if you’d like, if she declines move along. Are you wanting a pat on the back?”
Another person wrote:
“You posting on the internet to pat yourself on the back is not heroic.”
Someone else suggested:
“You could have just asked for an unspoken prayer request … and kept this post for your journal.”
And another response boiled the entire situation down to the idea that once help was declined, I should simply move along.
Think about what that actually means.
A visibly distressed woman is walking around at night with three children asking strangers where she can find shelter.
You offer help.
She is defensive.
She does not react exactly the way you want her to.
So apparently the morally correct response is:
Well, I tried. Not my business anymore.
No.
There absolutely are times when people should mind their own business.
But “mind your business” cannot become a convenient excuse for abandoning basic human concern.
Especially when children are involved.
People experiencing trauma do not always behave calmly. They may distrust strangers. They may refuse help and then ask again five minutes later. They may be frightened, embarrassed, angry or completely overwhelmed.
Compassion is easy when the person needing help behaves exactly the way we think a victim should behave.
Real compassion gets uncomfortable.
And if my choices are being criticized on Facebook for getting too involved or someday wondering whether I walked away from three children who actually needed someone to give a damn, I can live with the Facebook criticism.
We live in the Bible Belt.
Churches are everywhere.
So are sermons about mercy, compassion and helping people in need.
Yet churches I tried contacting were not answering, and one of the loudest responses afterward was essentially: say a prayer and move on.
Prayer matters to believers.
But sometimes compassion means answering the damn phone.
Sometimes it means knowing who to call.
Sometimes it means refusing to shrug and say, “Not my problem.”
James 2:14 – 25 warns against wishing someone well while doing nothing about their physical needs:
14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
18 But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. 19 You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.
20 You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless[d]? 21 Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? 22 You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. 23 And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,”[e] and he was called God’s friend. 24 You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone.
25 In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? 26 As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.
You can criticize how I handled parts of that night.
Fine.
You can argue that I should have worded the original Facebook post differently.
Fine.
But none of that answers the questions that actually matter:
Why was a woman with three children walking around at night asking strangers where she could find shelter?
Why did nobody immediately know what to tell her?
Why was “move along” more appealing to some people than asking how we prevent this from happening again?
The goal is not winning a Facebook argument.
The goal should be making sure the next woman who says,
“I need somewhere safe tonight,”
does not have to spend an hour asking strangers where to go.
That should not be too much to ask.
Jason Davenport is a seasoned media professional with over two decades of experience in the fields of broadcasting, audio/video production, and media consulting. Based in Montgomery, Alabama, Jason is the owner of Deep South Media, where he specializes in providing innovative solutions for clients, including podcasting, blogging, web design, and social media management.